This summer I didn’t write much.
I used this time to focus on other goals, so my attention shifted to study to enter the university I’ve always wanted.
Preparing myself for the test was not easy.
After deep thinking about the path that I want to take in my life, I understood that the right path, considering my future dreams and my current passions, may be software engineering.
I wasn’t prepared to take the test.
I had my first test with very little preparation, and obviously, I did poorly.
What I understood after the first entry test failed was the first occasion to test if this was the right path that I wanted to follow for the rest of my life.
I’ve never thought to surrender, no matter how hard it is, this is what gives me joy, studying these subjects is what interests me, and is what gives me meaning.
So the first test failed was only the start of what I will clearly understand is my real love: science.
I studied every day for two months, I did it with joy, with no pressure, I was intrinsically motivated by what I was studying, and I’ve never felt the need to complain about what I was doing, or compare myself to what others were doing.
I didn’t feel sorry for myself, because that was what made me happy.
I tried the test again, for the second time, and this time went far better, I improved my grade by 100%, and I doubled it!
That was one of the best feelings of my life, there is nothing better than seeing your work pay off.
I waited to see if the grade was enough to enter the university I wanted.
Unfortunately, it wasn’t.
That was another important lesson for me, it taught me about resilience, about “how much do I want it?”.
The lesson was that you may fail an unlimited amount of times, you are not your failures but the way you respond to those failures.
I was upset, I thought for a moment what I was doing, I thought maybe this was not for me.
But anyway, I still had that curiosity, the determination, the passion and the instinct to tell me that the game was not finished yet.
This is what I want to do, and I was going to try it again.
The next day I turned to study.
After a month, tomorrow I will finally try this test again.
I’m writing this article now, and not after tomorrow’s test for a simple reason.
I don’t want to attribute the success to my results.
What I did was great, I fought for something that mattered to me, and I let it slide after the first and the second failures, I’m proud of myself, regardless of the result that I will get tomorrow.
The joy and the passion that I put in during these months of deep work, made me understand that I’ve already achieved the biggest result, which is finding the path right for me.
And I couldn’t be happier that now.