I have nothing to lose and anything seems to change.
I’m in the same place, with the same people, talking about the same things.
But inside of my mind everything it’s in motion.
What should I do to change things? Nobody believes in me and nothing seems to help.
I feel different and also unable to enjoy certain things that guys of my age do, the reality it’s that I’m never happy, I don’t know how to have fun.
I’m really near to doing that jump I really need to make things change, I believe it.
But I’m scared, to be judged or whatever else that I can’t even explain.
But it’s the dumbest fear that I could have, I will always be judged, I prefer being judged for something that I’ve done to make things change that stay still in my comfort zone.
My problem is that I’ve always been apart, nobody ever talked about me, and for me, it’s weird also only think about that.
Because standing out of the crowd will attire attention, and I’m not used to having them.
I’ve always been the introverted kid, with few close friends, a “nerd”, and it’s what I am.
But I’m tired of sitting in my corner in silence, looking at all the people moving forward as if they had an idea about where they are going, I don’t know, I know the person that I want to be, but I don’t know how to become it.
I’m sure that everything one day will change, and things will take the right place, I have always been a respectful kid and I did the right things.
Everything will start from a tiny, very insignificant decision, that will start a chain of events.
The most important thing to remember it’s: “Don’t let anyone or any emotions stand out in front of your rationality”.
You will always be mediocre doing things that everyone does, stay good alone and comfortable in the uncomfortable.