It has been sixteen days since I returned from five months in the UK.
Coming back was different than what I’ve aspected, the problem were the aspectations, more aspectations you have and more you will be dissatisfied.
I wanted to do a lot of things, start a lot of projects, but when you face up the reality, problems crop up.
It was like I didn’t leave, everything remained the same, people, places and routine.
I don’t know why I aspected things would have changed, maybe because for me things changed a lot, and I aspected the same for the others.
I feel more alone, as the first month in England, but it’s another type of loneliness.
At the beginning, in England I was effectivetely alone, I didn’t have fisically anyone, instead now I have my usually friends, but I feel empty during my day, I don’t have fun anymore doing things that I was used to do before.
I’m trying to start again.
In these days I didn’t write, than I realized how much empy I felt, I missed this, writing relax me.
This won’t finish only because I’m turned back to my old routine, this blog must be a constant, it’s my diary.
To be honest, I don’t know what will be my next move.
Anything is enough, I know, when I was there sometimes I wanted to come back home, with my friends, my family, my routine.
But now that I’m actually here, I miss England.
Actually, I miss being indipendent, explore, speaking english, the air of novelty, the culture that every dream is possible.
There everything seem to be near by, everything seem to be easier, instead here I feel so far away.
I feel like I don’t belong where I am now.
However what I know is that I have a long way in front of me, and I haven’t even started, I will solve this gap that I feel, I will find the place where I belong.